unwrappingmommy

Have I found my MoJo?

Posted on: June 20, 2012

Welp, I did it.  I got up at 0630 and used the treadmill in coordination with the C25K-treadmill workout!!  Are you shocked?  I am, and even though it’s been more than 24 hours since this has happened I’m STILL in a little bit of shock over it.  Did it suck?  YES  Did I want to cry?  YES  Did I cry?  No, but I think I said a few choice words around minute 12.  Am I happy I did it?  YES  Will I do it again?  YES, in fact I got up again this morning and did a Walk-at-Home video.  I’m planning to alternate between the videos and the C25K plan.  Mostly because the C25K is only 3 days a week, and let’s face it, this mom-fluff isn’t going anywhere with just a 3 day work-out routine.

I’ve also started using the My Fitness Pal (MFP) app again.  Since I got a smartie phone I figured I might as well take advantage of it, especially the barcode scanner, which is awesome!!  I really don’t like the search feature on that since there are so many entries and you have to be sure you’re picking out the right one.  I’ve decided to go with the 1200 calorie/ 2lb per week feature.  I’ve noticed that when I’m actually paying attention to what I’m eating I don’t need/want to eat as much.  But, just like old times, it’s that pesky late night snacking that wants to do me in.  I think I really need to work on eating more calories during the day and going to bed earlier so I’m asleep before the cravings start.

Also, I’ve noticed that since I haven’t had any real sugary “treats” in the past few days, I’ve grown accustomed to the mild sweet flavor of natural sugars.  I’ve added honey to most of my drinks instead of sugar, and been able to successfully switch from Cherry Coke Zero to Arizona’s Diet Green Tea with Ginseng.  I did use a teaspoon of plain white sugar in my tea this morning, but surprisingly I’m okay with the hint of sweetness instead of my prior 3 tsp habit.  Also cutting out my non-dairy creamer which I have a disturbing addiction to.

I’m ready for a change.  I’m ready to stop letting myself do what I want to do and start doing what I need to do.  I need to set a better example for my kids, and I need to stop eating in ways that I would NEVER let them eat.  I’m reminded of an old family video of me when I was a kid, young, maybe 9 or 10.  I was a thin, lanky kid up until about 5th grade.  Anyway, I’m in this video while my dad was taping my brothers goofing off, and I am sitting on the couch with a big bag of cheese curls, just eating away.  No portion control, no one telling me to put the bag away, nothing.  Just me, as a child, on the couch, with the bag.  And now, how many times have I found myself as a growing girl, as a hormonal teenager, in my 20’s, and now in my 30’s just sitting on the couch with a bag of something, gnawing away at nothing.  Makes me sad, really, since I didn’t start out this way.  And, like so many things I’m learning about, the right paths weren’t chosen for me when I was a child.  So now, as an adult and I know better, I’ve got to find those paths and start the long road down them.

Maybe it’s my stubbornness that will keep me on track this time.  Maybe it’s that I can’t stand to look at the family pictures from the beach.  Maybe it’s that I’m so miserable and grouchy (even on Zoloft) that I need to snap out of it.  Maybe it’s that I know that there won’t be anymore babies in my future (as long as the 2.5 year old vasectomy is legit; so far so good!).  Whatever the reason, I’m just done being fluffy.  I’m done shopping in the plus sizes.  I’m done being depressed every time I have to go buy a new piece of clothing.  I’m done.

 

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