Just keep swimming, just keep swimming

Posted on: June 21, 2012

Day 3 of getting up out of bed before the minions to move my fluffy butt.  It is hard to get out of bed, but now that I’m feeling better about my food situation, now I’ve come to my sleep situation.  I MUST start going to bed earlier.  I only had time to do a 20 minute video this morning because I couldn’t get outta bed!  I did it though, and I didn’t feel as “refreshed” as I had the other 2 days when I’d done more work, but it was still better than nothing.

I also noticed something else.  I’m not sure if this happened before, a few years ago I was relatively successful with the whole calorie counting/working out thing before one snuck past the goalie and baby number 3 showed up.  I noticed that even though I’ve only changed my eating habits in the last 3 days I can’t eat as much, and don’t really want to either.  Today I took the kids to the pool.  I’m a crazy person for taking a 8yo, 6yo, and 3yo to a huge public pool by myself, but I did, and it was fine.  I got in a little more exercise since my morning was short.  When we were done I told the kids we would stop for Frosties on the way home.  I got each of them their own small, and since I hadn’t had a snack I got the kid’s size.  It’s a tiny cup, half the size of a small.  Since I haven’t had any real sugary food or rich treats lately I noticed that I felt it in my gut almost instantly.  I was half way through (so like, literally 3ish spoonfuls) and could have stopped eating it.  I didn’t, I did finish it, mostly because I just wanted to.  Then, this evening my hubby and I got burrito bowls from a local chain restaurant.  I had checked online to “build my bowl” so I knew what my best choices were.  When we sat down to dinner I could only eat less than half of mine.  I had already portioned it out to half the food they gave me, and I still couldn’t eat that!!  It was more than a little strange and even more exciting.  Seriously, last week if I would have gone to get Frosties for my kids I would have gotten myself a medium or a Frosty Float and guzzled that whole sucker down without a thought.  And that burrito bowl would have been a thing of memories.  I would have eaten the whole thing with no problems, and then still had a “bedtime snack”!  Wow.

Here’s another shocking epiphany that I just had as I was looking up nutrition content.  1 Frosty Float has 430 calories.  O.N.E.  My last 3 days of calorie counting I have not had a meal over 400 calories.  A WHOLE MEAL!!!!  I just have to shake my head and think, “What the hell was I thinking??”  Horrible.

I’m not going to lie though, this has been pretty much a bummer.  I was standing in the check out today looking at the candy, not wanting any of it, but that little nagging voice in my head was saying, “Oh look at that one that says Less Fat! Or, a few pretzel M&Ms won’t kill you!”  I was strong though, and didn’t give in.

Everyday is a fight, but that also means that everyday has the potential to be a victory.  It could also be a failure, and I know that that is okay too.  I’m hoping that my stubbornness and strong will is what will carry me through those battles.

As for now, I MUST go to bed!  I really want to try a new workout in the morning, but I also want to get it in before hubby gets home at 7.  Sweet Dreams!


1 Response to "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming"

I ❤ your determination Tiff Tiff!!! You are a stunning girl, jill of all trades, intelligent, inspiring, and the most honest girl I have ever known! I have the utmost respect for you for being so fearless about coming forth and sharing your weight battle with those who would do anything in the world for you. I will be right beside you to cheer you on this new journey to a healthier Tiffany! I would like to join you at least once a week in your work out sessions. I have not ever been so motivated and determined until now. Thank you, again!! You rock, girlie!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

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