$#!+ Just Got Real

Posted on: April 8, 2013

When I started blogging in 2011 it was with the goal of getting fit.  I could do it, darn it, and all I had to do was want it bad enough.  Well, looking back almost 2 years, and knowing that I DID want it, I knew something was going to have to change.  The road to hell was paved with good intentions, and my road to the kitchen was paved with good intentions of fixing my flawed eating style.  And, to be clear, not only have all my previous attempts failed, but I weigh MORE than I did when I started blogging.

Scales don’t scare me.  I’ve never cared much about what they read, and never gave much thought to the fluctuation.  Yoga pants can be very forgiving, so as long as I was on good terms with them, the scale could say whatever it wanted.  However, shopping does scare me.  I loath clothes shopping.  I hate looking for sizes that I don’t want to be in clothes that I don’t want to wear.  Being short is bad enough, and can limit selections, but being short and wide makes shopping almost unbearable.  Since I’m a SAHM, I don’t get out much.  I also don’t shop for clothes much.  Last summer, before the beach I bought a few cute, roomy, sundresses.  Roomy is the operative word here folks.  Anything drapey and flowy was just right.  But, before that I hadn’t really been clothes shopping.  A few weeks ago I noticed my jeans (I’m not going to call them fat jeans, because I don’t own skinny jeans, but they are) were getting snug.  I had to concede that while I did not want to buy a bigger pair of jeans, there was almost no way around it.  So, I headed to Goodwill, because I am NOT paying full price for jeans I hope to be out of in a month, and found some suitable denim.  Heavy hearted by the number that stared back at me from the tag I knew it was time to do something.  What I was doing was NOT working, in fact the back and forth was probably hurting me more than anything.

The hubs and I started researching options.  We were going to sign up for that very popular point system, but I knew online dieting would not, not, not work for me and I couldn’t find a meeting close enough to fit into our weird schedule.  I was aware of a Curves location in our village.  It is very close to our house, and they’ve recently started a “Complete” program that has the benefits of that other weight loss program plus the workout.  I texted a friend who had nothing but great things to say about the program and facility.  She invited me to come to a Zumba class with her at the gym, and I was excited to go!  I scheduled a meeting with the owner of our local Curves for the following Tuesday.  It was an informal meeting where we talked about the plan and what I could expect.  Honestly though, after my jean trauma, it didn’t really matter what they said.  I was signing up because I needed to fix this STAT!

And, so friends, I come to you exhausted.  My first day on the Curves Complete program was like nothing I’ve ever done.  I was at the gym at 9:30 after I got the kiddlets to school, home by 10:45 and then I had to go grocery shopping for the specific menu I’m on now.  Not restrictive, just specific.  I’ve signed on for 6 months.  This seems like a long time, but, when I look back at the 24 months that I’ve spent wanting to change, and trying to change, and failing and failing and failing, 6 months doesn’t seem like that big of a chunk.

And, so, here we go again.  Only this time I’m paying for it.  I’ve got someone ready to hold me accountable.  I’ve got to get out of those jeans.  I’ve got to get myself and my weight under control before I’ve gone so far that there is no turning back.



6 Responses to "$#!+ Just Got Real"

I.FEEL.YOUR.PAIN. I am also at my wit’s end. I can’t do ‘dieting’. I think it’s the dieting frame of mind that I cant work with. When I am not ‘allowed’ to have something, I crave it. Sigh….

You might like “Made to Crave” by Lysa TerKeurst. I started listening to it about a year ago but never finished…like everything else 😛 I just started it again today, and I seriously could have written 90% of it!!

Tiffany I know you can do this those jeans soon will be in a bag to goodwill I have one so bring them down…do not keep them. Sorry ww did not work in your schedule.

It’s okay! This works well for me, and my schedule. I’m able to get up there first thing in the morning after the kids are off to schooI, and I like that very much. I appreciate your support, and I am hoping those jeans will be out of my drawer before May! Thanks, Robin!!!

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